Wednesday, January 19, 2011

a thought - not quilt related

As I watched the news this morning, there is more about 'cyber bullying' and bullying in general.  I hear about what can be done to stop the bullying, what should the consequences be, etc.....  My opinion is that most targets (victims) of bullying are those with low self esteem, maybe some physical or mental challenges.  In the journey to stop the bullying, I would sure like to see programs in place to help those with low self esteem.  There are all sorts of after school programs that are geared to make a student a better athlete, a better debater, a better foreign language student - so why not a program to help a student to simply be able to feel better about themselves.  A program to give a student the tools to defend themselves against bullying. 
I wish I could say I have the answers, but I don't.  As parents I think we look at our children through rose colored glasses.  But I would hope that educators would be able to see if a child in their class was withdrawn or looking solemn.  Maybe an indicator that the child would benefit with a talk to a counselor.  Who really knows all the answers?  But I do believe it's very sad when someone, whether a child or an adult, has to try and belittle another person to make themselves look good or to feel superior.  How sad that that 'bully', deep down, actually also lacks self esteem.



Sally said...

I had a comment ready to post almost, and lost it in the preview :(

I agree on the low self esteem. It's rather ironic that we as parents can not physically punish our kids, or risk having them taken for abuse...yet we can verbally, mentally and emotionally abuse them all day long and no one blinks an eye. And that is far worse than physical abuse...coming from someone who knows every form there is. The physical ones, I don't remember, I know there were times, but to be honest, I'd take a beating any day over what I got instead. The rest? The rest of the abuses affect every day of my life by altering the person I am. Unlike the physical abuse, no one sees the emotional scars left behind.

Back when schools could punish kids, there were still bullies, but nothing like you hear about these days. I vote to bring back the ability to punish kids.

Back in grade school Katie would come home and tell me about how they are teaching the kids about telling me...I couldn't tell her what to do and spank if she didn't. The first time she said she would turn me in for abusing her, I said, oh yeah, go for it kiddo. I can count on one hand how many times she got spanked as a kid, and even she agrees with that. But when she did, it counted. It hurt. It made the impression it was meant to. That was not abuse.

Do that these days, and she tells a teacher, and see what happens. Yet, I can sit here and watch a parent constantly berate a child for doing nothing right for hours on end, and nothing will happen if I claim that parent is abusing that child. And that verbal abuse is the absolute worst abuse there is.

That's the kind I grew up with. Verbal, mental, emotional abuse. I was a prime target for bullies.

Lana said...

I agree with you. I was an easy target too, and it was very painful at times.
I like that the conversation is out there and hopefully parents will look a little closer at both sides!
Thank you too, for stopping by tonight and offering your prayers for Joanne. I know her family is touched by all the support from everyone.

Katie M. said...

I come from such a loving & caring family that it was hard for me to understand abuse until I married my DH. The horror stories I've heard from his siblings. His father would have been in prison if it was in today's times. But I will say here that many years later, before my FIL passed, he apologized to my DH for being so 'hard' on him. I think I've been blessed in so many ways in my life and my parents and grandparents were one of my biggest blessings.